5 Cynical Things About Casinos

5 Cynical Things About CasinosWhere would a casino be without punters who lose plenty of cash? Broke. So what all gambling industries need is fresh blood. After the old ones have been sucked dry of every penny and they disappear to live on the streets in a cardboard box. As a willing victim, you notice an advert from your local casino tempting a new-be gambler with a free bet. What more could you ask for? Give it a little time and you could be living on the breadline too. Of course, this is a very cynical perspective. It considers that individuals have no freewill or choice. As the adverts say: ‘When the fun stops, stop.’’

But what could we view as 5 cynical aspects of the casino world which tempt you to bet and lose.

1) No Membership Needed

Once upon a time you would have needed to give all your details to get into a casino and they were pretty determined to get you to use your membership card when changing your money into chips as some form of accountability. That seems to have had its day. I can’t remember the last time anyone at the casino asked any question about anything about anything.

2) No One Knows The Time

You will never see a clock on a wall. The casino is a timeless place where you really don’t need to know what’s happening outside this gambling world. Also, you won’t have a chance to look out of a window as there aren’t any. Remember the episode of Only Fools And Horses when Dell and Rodney came out of the casino to find it was the next day. It happens more than you think. Very few people leave with any money.

3) Free Bets, Incentives and Offers

Where would the casino be without the carrot dangling on the end of a stick? A steady stream of mules chomping at the bit finding themselves in the casino and there is no door to get out. They are literally trapped inside with their credit card until they die due to vertigo from watching the ball spin around the roulette wheel once too often. To think it was that free bet which led to my destruction and poverty. The sound of the slots paying out echoes in my cardboard box as the rain falls down. Others heading to the restaurant to get a discounted meal. Later digging through bins on the seafront. Be careful of those offers and incentives – they may just ruin your life.

4) Everyone’s Your Friend At The Casino

The staff at casino come off the same production line as The Stepford Wives. If they weren’t asking if you wanted a free drink they’d be out the back making Cherries Jubilee. There’s nothing wrong with polite, courteous and caring staff but these guys can lean back so far they make world record limbo dancers look stiff and their head can spin 360 degrees as they notice you need a free top-up of cola. If you look very close into the eyes of any staff member at the casino you will see red eyes which can scan a barcode. No wonder I love going to the casino because they are always there to help with every problem.

5) Special Occasions – We’ve Got Just The Present

If you happen to have a birthday coming up, you can guarantee you will receive an offer of some kind to tempt you to turn up to the casino. This is a prime opportunity to take advantage of a free bet or match bet and lose all of your money. If you are a particularly big loser they may even bake you a cake. Whatever you do, don’t mention it’s a significant birthday else they will get the voodoo man to put a spell on you and you will never be seen again. Perhaps washed up on a beach in Haiti with a sucker fish stuck to your lips.

Good luck.

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