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5 Cynical Things About Casinos

5 Cynical Things About Casinos Where would a casino be without punters who lose plenty of cash? Broke. So what all gambling industries need is fresh blood. After the old ones have been sucked dry of every penny and they disappear to live on the streets in a cardboard box. As a willing victim, you notice an advert from your local casino tempting a new-be gambler with a free bet. What more could you ask for? Give it a little time and you could be living on the breadline too. Of course, this is a very cynical perspective. It considers that individuals have no freewill or choice. As the adverts say: ‘When the fun stops, stop.’’

But what could we view as 5 cynical aspects of the casino world which tempt you to bet and lose.

1) No Membership Needed

Once upon a time you would have needed to give all your details to get into a casino and they were pretty determined to get you to use your membership card when changing your money into chips as some form of accountability. That seems to have had its day. I can’t remember the last time anyone at the casino asked any question about anything about anything.

2) No One Knows The Time

You will never see a clock on a wall. The casino is a timeless place where you really don’t need to know what’s happening outside this gambling world. Also, you won’t have a chance to look out of a window as there aren’t any. Remember the episode of Only Fools And Horses when Dell and Rodney came out of the casino to find it was the next day. It happens more than you think. Very few people leave with any money.

3) Free Bets, Incentives and Offers

Where would the casino be without the carrot dangling on the end of a stick? A steady stream of mules chomping at the bit finding themselves in the casino and there is no door to get out. They are literally trapped inside with their credit card until they die due to vertigo from watching the ball spin around the roulette wheel once too often. To think it was that free bet which led to my destruction and poverty. The sound of the slots paying out echoes in my cardboard box as the rain falls down. Others heading to the restaurant to get a discounted meal. Later digging through bins on the seafront. Be careful of those offers and incentives – they may just ruin your life.

4) Everyone’s Your Friend At The Casino

The staff at casino come off the same production line as The Stepford Wives. If they weren’t asking if you wanted a free drink they’d be out the back making Cherries Jubilee. There’s nothing wrong with polite, courteous and caring staff but these guys can lean back so far they make world record limbo dancers look stiff and their head can spin 360 degrees as they notice you need a free top-up of cola. If you look very close into the eyes of any staff member at the casino you will see red eyes which can scan a barcode. No wonder I love going to the casino because they are always there to help with every problem.

5) Special Occasions – We’ve Got Just The Present

If you happen to have a birthday coming up, you can guarantee you will receive an offer of some kind to tempt you to turn up to the casino. This is a prime opportunity to take advantage of a free bet or match bet and lose all of your money. If you are a particularly big loser they may even bake you a cake. Whatever you do, don’t mention it’s a significant birthday else they will get the voodoo man to put a spell on you and you will never be seen again. Perhaps washed up on a beach in Haiti with a sucker fish stuck to your lips.

Good luck.

Photo: Pixabay (free)

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5 Games To Play At The Casino

5 Games To Play At The Casino We all have our favourite casino games. Some like blackjack while you’re old aunt loves to choose her date of birth on the roulette. For many, the reason why they play a game is what they had some luck at back in the past. I’ve had many nights at the casino and tried different games. Some were better than others. Here’s my 5 games (played or not) and my positives and negatives for each.

1) Roulette –

Let’s start with one of my favourites. I’m not sure how popular or not the spin of the wheel is compared to other games but it’s one I find myself playing and I’ve been quite lucky too. Over the years, betting small money, I have won a good few hundred. Most people don’t believe it’s possible but I’ve tasted success. I have a very boring approach that sees me betting on the same number all night long. Yes, it is like watching paint dry but this approach seems to work and shown a profit.

Positives: Getting match bets can put the odds in your favour to win. Betting small stakes on a single number means you cannot lose too fast. If one or two numbers come up you are likely to break level or show a profit.

Negative: Can be pretty repetitive and boring after an hour or so.

2) 3-Card Poker

I’ve played this game a couple of times. My cousins love it and have won and lost a lot of money over the years. There is no skill involved. You simply bet on the outcome of your hand (before it is dealt) and hope beyond hope you win. You have to pay the ante which can erode your money over time. I often play pair+ which means you are hoping for a prial, straight or flush to give you wins up to 30/1. A straight flush (3 in sequence suited) pays 40/1. It’s a fun game, where you often get a chance to talk with other players and croupier. I think the casino edge is pretty high on pair+ which takes your money over time.

Positive: Fun to play and makes a change from roulette. If you get on a run of luck you can make good money. It’s a game you don’t need any skill to play and you can sit down in comfort and chat with friends or others at the table.

Negative: I’ve won easier more money at roulette. I think the casino edge is pretty hard going. I’ve had a very good evening and had umpteen winning hands and I was surprised how little money I was winning. Also, the hands come round pretty fast if there are only a couple of you playing and you can’t really sit out a hand like roulette.

3) Blackjack –

I don’t think I’ve ever played blackjack at the local casinos in the UK but my brother has a few times. He’s done OK and made some money by getting lucky. It’s a simple game and you can bet small or large stakes so you can easily sit at the table for an hour or two without burning through your money. It does have an element of skill it twisting or sticking. If you are into your card counting you may have the odds in your favour. However, it doesn’t take much working out that you are playing the casino at their own game and they may well ask you to leave.

Positives: It’s easy to play and not a bad game to enjoy an hour or two of play. If you get away with card counting, you could have a very good night. It’s a decent game for the novice as well as the pro gambler. Can’t knock it.

Negatives: If you are thinking about card counting you may well have a short-lived visit.

4) Poker –

The casino usually offer poker with a set buy-in. I don’t play poker and really don’t know the rules which may sound usual for a gambling man. My mate Eric always tells me how easy it is to play. I’ve heard of a few people who have made a killing and won a few grand. I think I would rather watch than play. It’s a skill-based game so if you have a little bit of luck and skill you could be onto a winner.

Positives: A game based on skill so you could be the best on the table. Not a great deal of money to enter and a good pot to win.

Negatives: You need to learn the rules and be proficient to have any real hope of winning a competition.

5) Slots –

I have played the slot before. The trouble with most of these machine and multi lines is that you really don’t know what is going on. You can win good money if you get lucky but they can be a money pit if you get too comfy. Personally, they do nothing for me and I would rather play the old style one-armed bandits which are more interesting. However, the slots are a big part of the casino and they make the majority of their cash.

Positives: Easy to play. Comfortable sitting in your chair and getting free soft drinks, tea and coffee all night. You can win big money if you get lucky.

Negatives: Very easy to lose track of time and money playing the slots. Also, one of the most addictive forms of gambling. It can be difficult to stop once you start pressing that button. Best to stop at a certain point and have a breather to reassess your losses (or wins).

5 Games To Play At The Casino

5 Games To Play At The Casino I guess we all have our favourite casino games. Some like blackjack while you’re old aunt loves to choose her birthdate on the roulette. For many, the reason why they play a given game is probably what they had some luck on back in the past. I’ve had a few nights at the casino and tried a few different games. Some were better than others. Here’s my 5 games (played or not) and my positives or negatives for each.

1) Roulette –

Let’s start with one of my favourites. I’m not sure how popular or not the spin of the wheel is compared to other games but it’s one I find myself playing and I’ve been quite lucky too. Over the years, betting small money, I have won a good few hundred. Most people don’t believe it’s possible but its the way it has been for me. I have a very boring approach to which sees me betting on the same number all night long. Yes, it is like watching paint dry but this approach seems to work and shown a profit.

Positives: Getting match bets you can put the odds in your favour to win. Betting small stakes each spin on a single number means you cannot lose your money fast. One or two numbers come up and you are likely to break level or be in profit.

Negative: Can be pretty repetitive and boring after an hour or so.

2) 3-Card Poker

I’ve played this game a couple of times. My cousins love it and have won and lost a lot of money over the years. There is no skill involved. You simply bet on the outcome of your hand (before it is dealt) and hope beyond hope you win. You have to pay the ante which can erode your money over time. I often play pair+ which means you are hoping for a prial, straight or flush to give you wins up to 30/1. A straight flush (3 in sequence suited) pays 40/1. It’s a fun game, where you often get a chance to talk with other players and croupier. I think the casino edge is pretty high on pair+ which takes your money over time.

Positive: Fun to play and makes a change from roulette. If you get on a run of luck you can make good money. Its a game you don’t need any skill to play and you can sit down in comfort and chat with friends or others at the table.

Negative: I’ve won more money at roulette. I think the casino edge is pretty hard going. I’ve had a very good evening and had umpteen winning hands and I was surprised how little money I was winning. Also, the hands come round pretty fast if there are only a couple of you playing and you can’t really sit out a hand like roulette.

3) Blackjack –

I don’t think I’ve ever played blackjack at the local casinos in the UK but my brother has a few times. He’s done OK and made some money by getting lucky. It’s a simple game and you can bet small or large stakes so you can easily sit at the table for an hour or two without burning through your money. It does have an element of skill it twisting or sticking. If you are into your card counting you may have the odds in your favour. However, it doesn’t take much working out that you are playing the casino at their own game and they may well ask you to leave.

Positives: It’s easy to play and not a bad game to enjoy an hour or two of play. If you get away with card counting, you could have a very good night. It’s a decent game for the novice as well as the pro gambler. Can’t knock it.

Negatives: If you are thinking about card counting you may well have a short-lived visit.

4) Poker –

The casino usually offer poker with a set buy-in. I don’t play poker and really don’t know the rules which may sound usual for a gambling man. My mate Eric always tells me how easy it is to play. I’ve heard of a few people who have made a killing and won a few grand. I think I would rather watch than play. It’s a skill-based game so if you havea little bit of luck and skill you could be onto a winner.

Positives: A game based on skill so you could be the best on the table. Not a great deal of money to enter and a good pot to win.

Negatives: You need to learn the rules and be proficient to have any real hope of winning a competition.

5) Slots –

I have played the slot before. The trouble with most of these machine and multi lines is that you really don’t know what is going on. You can win good money if you get lucky but they can be a money pit if you get to comfy. Personally, they do nothing for me and I would rather play the old style one-armed bandits which are more interesting. However, the slots are a big part of the casino and they make the majority of their cash.

Positives: Easy to play. Comfortable sitting in your chair and getting free soft drinks, tea and coffee all night. You can win big money if you get lucky.

Negatives: Very easy to lose track of time and money playing the slots. Also, one of the most addictive forms of gambling. It can be difficult to stop once you start pressing that button. Best to stop at a certain point and have a breather to reassess your losses (or wins).

Photo: Pixabay (free)

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5 Different People You Will Meet At The Casino

5 Different People You Will Meet At The Casino The next time you visit a casino stop and look around. Who are your fellow gamblers? In truth every casino is a melting pot of many and varied people. Those super rich to others who are desperate and looking to change their luck. Not forgetting the regular faces who keep most casinos afloat. What’s better than people watching? There are so many characters who kind of make you grimace to a big broad smile. But which 5 kind of people have I clocked at the casino and what is the story for each of these groups?

1) The Regular Face

These punters don’t have to be locals but the chances are they don’t travel too far afield and they are known by all the staff. If they are big bettors you can guarantee their name is known and often spoken while at the table. Like ‘Graham’ at Great Yarmouth Grosvenor Casino. A man who isn’t out of his depth betting 10K a night. I wonder if he has any money left? The regulars are a mix of the good, bad and ugly. Those who have cash to burn and those who are borderline addicts. Most aren’t well dressed and only there for the gamble. They really wouldn’t care if the place was empty as long as they get their fix.

2) Arm Candy

There’s usually some old bloke with a suitcase full of money with a girl half his age hanging onto his arm. A super model look contrasting with an ugly mug but a sugar daddy who has plenty of cash to burn. As far as betting goes, he’s more interested in betting like a high-roller because he knows – with a bit of luck – that his payout will come at the end of the evening in some swish hotel. Yes, I’m a cynical so and so. Good luck to him or her and I say that with all honesty. If I had a wad of cash on the hip, I’d be betting like a King. Where would the casino be without a sprinkling of arm candy, a dolly bird, or your old gran dressed up to the nines?

3) The Vagrant Looking For His Next Meal

The chances are you won’t see these characters inside the casino but you can guarantee they will appear on your walk to the casino rather than leaving, when you might be broke. The amount of times I’ve walked toward the Grosvenor Casino at Great Yarmouth and someone has asked me for some change, a cup of tea or a meal is pretty high. Being a caring soul I usually give the individual a couple of quid. I often question whether they are actually homeless or struggling at all. Who knows? I can’t imagine they are asking for no reason but I’d love to hear the true story of the vagabonds.

4) The Rich Couple Who Don’t Mix

There is a share of rich people at the casino. Even rich people like to lose a few quid! Only joking. Like everyone else, they want a good night out, have a gamble, perhaps a meal in the restaurant and go home driven by Jeeves in a Silver Cloud Rolls Royce. What these rich couple don’t do is mix well with the lower classes. I remember my cousin chatting with this rich couple at the bar. Initially all was going well until my cousin turned the air blue with a few choice words. As this was natural discourse for the Fen Boys it didn’t register that anything was wrong until the elderly lady – akin to Hyacinth Bucket – looked horrified and muttered her disapproval and my cousin’s brother excused his language and the couple moved on. It was all very funny to watch from afar.

5) The Conman, Pickpocket and Would-be Mugger

I don’t like to be too critical but where there’s money there’s someone who is looking for an easy ride. So always be on your lookout for anyone who is a little too friendly, takes note you’ve been winning and wants to buy you a few shorts to tip you over the edge. They may help you to your taxi, but the chances are your wallet will have vanished when you arrive at your destination to pay. Always be careful.

I wonder what people you’ve noticed at the casino?

Photo: Pixabay (free)

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Having Fun At The Casino Without Having A Bet

Having Fun At The Casino Without Having A Bet When did you last go to a casino? Perhaps you have never been. Or you might be a regular, who is a face among the crowd. I often ask this question because all too often people associate casinos with betting your cold, hard cash. You’re saying: ‘No kidding, Sherlock!’ However, the gambling part is a matter of choice and you really don’t need to place a bet to have a brilliant night out. Don’t believe me! Here are my 5 suggestions to be a winner without fear of loss.

1) Plan Your Evening

To keep informed of what is happening at your local casino you should join their mailing list and follow their social media: Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Mailings are the best because they usual only send them when they have a promotion which is good news for you as a freeloader! If you get the timing right you will be heading to the casino with a free bet. Even if it’s a fiver, for completing a survey, you have nothing to lose. Believe it or not, I’ve been given a free bet of £75, a free meal for two and a bottle of wine. Not kidding, just for being on the mailing list. That’s not because I lost a grand a month either (I’m actually winning money). Other freebies include live music, free alcoholic drinks and discounts on food. I’m sure there are other things you can enter such as competitions to win holidays.

2) Complete A Survey For Your Free Bet

That’s right. Complete a five-minute survey and you will get five pounds to spend on any of your favourite games. I’d be tempted to place it on black or red in hope of doubling your money. I remember seeing a lady place here free bet to win £5 on a single number on the roulette and it came up. Not realising she left all her winning on the same number and it came in again and walked away with £180. There are many opportunities to get free bets so keep a look out. If you can give feedback you are more likely to receive an email giving you some form of incentive.

3) Go For Romantic Meal (On The Cheap)

You don’t want to tell your other half they’re a cheap night out although they wouldn’t believe you even if you said. Many casino are situated in magnificent period buildings. For example Grosvenor at Great Yarmouth is a Listed building Shadingfield Lodge (pictured). It was designed by A.W. Morant for J Cudden ESQ, who was good friends with Edward VIII, King of England. So you will be in a restaurant that is fit for royalty. Not only that, the food in most casinos is greatly discounts and the service is exceptional. The waiter doesn’t know whether you intend to go to the gaming room and bet your free voucher or £1000 (but they will treat you the same and always go the extra mile). If the Mrs (or partner) isn’t a member of the casino, then get them signed up (you don’t need a deposit or ever place a bet) and you can often get 50% off your food bill for free. That’s for the whole table, so ideal for a party. To celebrate why not have two cocktails for just £12. Casino restaurants are usually very quiet so you will have the place to your self. Great Yarmouth’s casino down Marine Parade is a fine example of a Grade II listed building built in the later part of the 19^th century. It has high ceilings, huge bay windows and elegant mirrors. And it does a decent meal. You would pay more at McDonalds.

4) People Watching Gambler Style

Some people like to watch a goldfish swim round a bowl. Well, you can go to the gaming room (after your romantic meal) and watch gamblers at work. It’s like watching a football match without a ball. Just sit back from afar or get close up and personal. Push someone and see what response you get. Literally lay on top of some innocent gambler siting at the roulette table as you place your free bet. They won’t mind as they expect it to happen. It’s par for the course. In fact, if you have a dab of Chanel No5 on your person they’ll be looking almost inviting you for second helpings. Some people fall asleep while dreaming of a big slot win as their money burns down like a fuse on auto play. You will see winners, losers, some, like you, watching the bull fight. People losing their life’s savings in plain sight while others cheer with delight as they won ‘Money without work!’ It will be a diluted scene from Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas. The only monster you will see is that little Argentinian bloke who turns up from time to time. You’ll be part of the gambler atmosphere enjoying the buzz. Your senses will be heightened by absurdity and heady mix of body odour and alcohol air. Put it this way, you will see some sights and it won’t cost you a penny. Keep your eyes pealed and you may even find a stray chip on the floor.

Gambling free money.

Good luck.

5) Free Drinks In The Gaming Room

That’s right. If you want soft drinks, tea, coffee, even a mug of coco, then just sit at one of the roulette terminals or slots machine and pretend you’re getting a fiver out of your purse and you’ll get table service. If that doesn’t happen, just go to the bar and you’ll find it’s free. You can save twenty quid without any trouble at all. If you’re posh, they may even have some earl grey tea, perhaps a leftover from those halcyon days when Edward VIII was in town.

Who says you can’t have a great night on the cheap, living the millionaire’s lifestyle on a budget.

At a casino near you.

It’s money without work!

Photo: Jason Coote (c)

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5 Cynical Things About Casinos

5 Games To Play At The Casino

5 Games To Play At The Casino

5 Different People You Will Meet At The Casino

Having Fun At The Casino Without Having A Bet

5 Pointz – Casino Blog

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